I've failed badly in my Management paper..

rase macam kosong je dunia aku ni.. takde ape2, takde sape2.. yang ade cume aku je.. sorang2.. aku mencari ape yang hilang? ape yang kurang? kawan-kawan ke?, duit ke? atau cuma kurang activity.. jadi bosan.. sebab tu rase macam kosong.. tibe2 aku pikir, mungkin dah tiba masa untuk aku masuk level yang baru.. u knw.. like new phase of life..tukar semuanye..buat bende yang tak pernah buat..belajar bende baru, kenal orang baru..n start biznes baru.. haha.. start biznes baru tu macam susah sketlah pasal keadaan economy yg mendung cam cuaca kat Malaysia gak..anyway..hari ni aku terpikir.. umur dah meningkat.. banyak bende aku belom belajar, banyak bende aku tak tau.. meeting ngan client ari ni buat aku realise.. ade lagi bende yang aku tak aware dalam biznes ni.. theres alot3 more to learn n to explore..n im getting older.. n suddenly terkeluar soalan untuk daddy yang same2 pegi meeting ngan aku.. "pa..dah beli rumah ke masa umur 25?" daddy jawab "belum lagi.." n i thought.. kalau daddy bleh survive.. mesti aku pun bleh.. but then.. daddy had different time n evironment..time dunia dah semakin canggih dan banyak cabaran macam ni daddy dah stabil.. he doesnt have to work anymore.. aku plak.. still nowhere in life.. masih struggle to stabilise the biz.. yg agak slow time recession ni.. last time mase study..mase dok pakai duit daddy sampai tak ingat dunia aku lupe sume tentang economic, sume tentang cabaran dunia sekarang..time tu nak spell r.e.c.e.s.s.i.o.n pun aku tak pandai sebab memang tak pernah rase susah.. sekarang bile kena cari duit sendiri.. barulah aku tau..nasib baik ade daddy yang memang superhero aku dari dulu.. datang menyelamat.. bagi semangat.. Thanks Daddy.. U are my SUPERMAN..

*aku realise something.. aku memang tak bagus dalam time management.. ni satu bende yang aku betul2 nak improve.. susah betul bile tak pandai organise mase.. byk mase terbuang tapi tak byk keje siap.. I NEED TO CHANGE..n tibe2 datang plak semangat nak berubah.. menjadi orang yang lebih baik..have better time management.. so im trying it now.. tu new goal yang aku nak capai.. let me tell u honestly.. its hard to change.. its hard to be someone new..believe me.. tapi kite sume perlukan perubahan..thts how we learn.. thts how we grow up if u realise.. aku betul2 kagum dgn orang2 yang boleh berubah.. dengan orang2 yang boleh stick dengan routine harian dio org.. aku mmg confirm tak boleh.. hari2 aku tukar sume bende.. so at the end of the day aku jadi disorganise.. kadang2 meeting penting pun bleh lupa.. nasib baik ade daddy yang sentiase nak ingatkan dan sentiase nak nasihatkan aku.. mmmm.. memang memalukan.. dah tua camni pun masih nak kena nasihat ngan daddy.. tu pun pasal time management aku yang memang confirm hancur lebur.. sesape yang bace ape yang aku tulis ni.. ade tak cara2 nak nak improve time management? bleh kongsi tips sket tak.. i need help..

**kalau bleh nak balik semula ke time belajar kat college.. time yang kite mmg takde responsibility.. pegi class ikut mood..buat assgmnt ikut mood.. study for exam pun ikut mood.. konon2 nyer yang penting pass with flying colours..doesnt matter wat we do to achieve it.. i think its wrong..bende tu actually jadi kebiasaan akhirnye..nak buat sume bende ikut mood.. dah taknak ikut mase yang betul lagi..its really hard to change it.. especially after stay away from home for long time..bile nak kene balik semule ke rumah duduk ngan family balik.. its a real hard thing..tapi kite mmg takleh nak putar balik mase ni.. sesape pun kat dunia ni belom berjaya buat gadget yang bleh putar balik mase.. can delete or undo wat we dont like..sounds like good idea kan? undo or delete wat we dont like..but then..we can no longer use the saying.."manusia memang tak sempurna" kalau sume kite bleh tukar sure kite jadi perfect..mmm..ntah ape2 yang aku merepek ni.. ni sume akibat kekosongan yang aku cakap tadi..dunia aku yang kosong..

*** sekarang ni tibe2 aku rase mengantuk plak.. so nnt2 je lah aku sambung aku nyer merepek ni..now let me dream bout the prince charming (as if its very important).. yang aku tunggu2 tapi tak sampai gak..huhuhu.. good night everyone..

##im out##

sesi makan mcFlurry..

tibe-tibe dia call.. sibuk2 tanye kabar, tanye aku buat ape, kat mane? n.. bawak ape dari penang untuk dia.. (suka hati dia je mintak souvenir..) belum sempat jawab dia dah ckp lagi.."u ade incoming call..i'll call u back k.." n aku pun.."ya..ok..bye"..thts how he ended the call everytime.. so i aku igt mmg mamat ni takkan call aku balik.. tibe-tibe..pukul 9 malam dia call..(dalam hati aku ckp apa hal mamat ni? selalu tak igt nak call balik..) dia tanye lagi.."u katne? buat ape? oo dah sampai umah..im on my way pegi bayar bil telepon.." sibuk2 nak bagi tau tanpe perlu di soal siasat..hihihihi..aku pikir lagi..(something is wrong..but wat is it?..then pikir punye pikir.. aku dapat jawapan.. he is wrong..hihihihi not something.. tak tau ape angin yang melanda, bawak dia kat aku..) then dia ckp lagi ayat tu.. kali ni ubah sket je.."u..ade road block..i'll call u back".. aku pun kate.."oo..really? ok then..bye".. masih lagi berpikiran yang dia tak mungkin akan call balik.. tapi kali ni aku tak berape nak kisah sangat.. coz firstly memang dah banyak kali dia buat camni..so im used to it..n secondly..dah takde ape nak ckp pun.... then after 15 mins.. there he was.. calling me again.. dia cakap kali ni.. "u..jom makan mc flurry..ur fav kan?" aik..tibe-tibe je mamat ni..aku pun selambe je ckp.. "u tipu kan?".."main2 je kan?".. he replied.. "no lah. tak main2 ni.. im serious..jomlah.. i dah park my car.. tunggu u ni.. come fast k.." and he hung up..then 15 mins later..i was there in Mc Donald's.. belum sempat say hallo to him.. datang satu uncle ni.. mmg dah lama kenal.. tibe2 dia nampak aku n straight away menyape.. "hey..ape kabar?" n i was like.. "hey uncle..im fine..how r u?" n this guy.. looked confused.. then aku kenalkan lah..since org tu (uncle) dah duduk semeja tanpe dipelawe.."uncle..ni Mr brainy..n Brainy this is Uncle.." guess wat uncle replied to me.. "oh..brainy.. baguslah..finally u have found someone.." aku macam nak menjerit masa tu.. si brainy ni lak dok sengih2 mcm kerang.. then aku ckp.. "ni kawan i je uncle..takde ape2 pun.." si uncle bz body ni lak ckp.. "alah nak tunggu ape lagi?..si siti (anak uncle) tu dah nak kawin bulan 12 ni.. kalau dah suka tu takyah pikir lama2.. ok lah ni.." hihihihi bagus je ayat dia kan.. muka aku dah merah giler aku rase.. dalam hati nasib baik tak pakai blusher tadi.. dah ade blusher yg original..hihihi.. pastu dia siap bagi tau si brainy.. "uncle dah kenal ayah dia ni dah lama.. mase kite org bujang2 dulu"..aku plak tertanye2.. ape motif si uncle ni..bagi tau sejarah sume kat mamat ni..

*nak menyelamatkan keadaan.. aku pun tanye.."uncle buat ape kat sini.. lambat gak balik umah ek?.. " dah tu barulah dia teringat tujuan asal dia pegi McD.. "uncle nak jumpe org.." n org tu pun luckily sampai time tu jugak.. so uncle pun blah.. nak tau dia duduk mane?..hihihi...sebelah meja aku je.. bengang gak ngan uncle yg dah kawan ngan daddy sejak zaman bujang dia ni.. tapi ape nak buat.. daddy aku blom beli Mc'D tu lagi.. so aku takleh nak suruh dia pegi jauh sket.. so aku n Mr brainy.. berbual2.. pretend macam Mr. Uncle takde kat situ.. then pukul 12 lebih dia cakap nak balik.. nak pegi main pool ngan member dia plak..padahal muka dia tunjuk muka ngantuk.. aku pun ckp.."ni dah nampak mengantuk pun nak pi main pool gak.." dia sengih je.. pastu ckp.. "mmg ngantuk.. tapi nak pegi gak.. skejap je.." aku replied.."mcm penting sgt.. betul ke main pool ni?" hihihihihi si mamat ni tibe2 jadi serious.." betul, nak main pool je.. sumpah tak tipu".. siap bersumpah lagi.. aku tak ckp pun aku tak caye kat dia.. cume tanye je betul ke tak nak main pool..

**so.. itulah dia cerite Mr brainy.. yg tibe2 call n berbaik2 ngan aku.. aku cube pikir-pikir balik.. ape yang dia nak sebenarnye.. tapi sampai sekarang tak dpt jawapan.. ntah ape yang dia nak.. pastu aku teringat kat cik adik sorang ni..(my lil' cusin) yg selalu ckp.. "takyah call dia.. tapi kalau dia call layan je. so aku pun layan je lah.."

***sesungguhnya cume tuhan je yang tau ape motif mamat ni.. n aku harap takdelah yg bukan2.. maybe dia nak kawan je.. teman makan McFlurry..hihihi..

##im out##

he is lying..

im so confused r8 now.. why would a guy lie to me wen i dont do anytg to him.. u knw just call me and lie.. whether he is a psycho or im just too naive or stupid until someone can actually call n lied to me.. i didnt catch him red handed lying to me. i just GUESS tht he was lying.. gosh.. wat type of guy is tht.. a friend told me "maybe this guy just wanna impress u".. but by lying or cheating?.. if he happens to read this..( whatever u did is so not impressive!!).. and wat make me write bout him today.. i like this guy.. i just like him since the first time i saw him.. didnt expect this type of behaviour from him.. so thts it.. im planning to just forget bout him.. just dont wanna call or text anymore.. do whatever u want man!! im no longer interested.. im no longer attracted to you.. (thnx to my not so lil's cousin who actually be my brain n make me think properly).. mmm.. it makes me wonder.. does guys do this all the time? lying? their so called 'white lies' are just unacceptable in my dictionary.. i prefer to hear the truth though the truth hurts.. but i prefer tht instead of being cheated..

*then theres another guy.. this is a psycho (im so sure bout it!!).. this is his msg to me today:

"if u regards me as your friend we can meet, you look beautiful with the cover (referring to the scarf im wearing), if you uncover will it be more attractive, or.." thts all.. i dont really get it.. wat does he meant? so i replied to him : "hi mr *** if u wanna be friend with me please respect me coz i dont need this type of shit from you".. hows tht? hihihihi i knw its super rude.. i think he deserves it.. now he replied.." i respect you thts why i appreciate ur beauty.. alamak.. people are not allowed to praise? i never ask bout sex..maybe u just misunderstood my statement.." mmm wat do i say.. guys are dumb sometimes.. actually most of the time.. they just dont knw wat is the right thing to say n the right thing to do..

**then come back to this guy.. who lied to me.. let me call him mr brainy.. since he think he is super duper smart.. he is very smart actually.. he taught me alot bout biz.. thts why i was attracted to him in the first place.. but then maybe he is trying too hard to impress me without knowing tht im actually already impressed and attracted to him without him even trying.. u knw wat i mean?.. attracted to him for wat he is, not for his money or any other ability.. (including his ability to lie..) someone else told me "maybe he lied to get ur attention.. to be emotionally attached to u.." (he lied bout being sick, really really sick)..now this is an opinion from a guy.. so basically.. this is how they think.. how their brain works..lie to get attention.. mmm..in this matter i have to be fair.. even women does tht.. lie to get attention.. wat bout emotionally attached? he wants me to feel sympathy? or wat? the truth is i just dont know.. i wish i can ask him straight wen i see him.. "were u lying to me all this while? " hows tht? hihihiihihihihi.. im so sure he wont be able to answer me..

*** so tht is the thing thts been bugging me all these while.. (guys guys.. wats wrong with u all..) they are so complicated..n they go around telling people women are complicated..

##im out##

i'm done..

im done with my jogging..(again..its in my dream).. im actually done setting up this blog thingy... thought of goin home but still attached to this thing..and im waiting for this guy who actually ask me to wait for him coz he wanna talk to me.. so here i am writing crap n waiting for the guy.. i can see from the window in my office, the sun is setting down.. finishing its duty for the day.. while im still here.. procrastinating.. not doin' anything..

* sometimes i think someone has put a spell on me or in my office, so tht i become lazy n dont wanna do my job.. (its just a lame excuse to get rid of the guilty feeling of procrastinating..) but its kinda true.. im so excited to go to office.. but wen im here im not doing anytng..other than this... writing crap n browsing around.. n before im off to home i'll tell my self to get everytning done tmrw.. n wen tmrw come.. guess what? i'll wait for the next day to come.. i guess this is wat i do best.. PROCRASTINATING.. i wonder whether all working people are like this.. excited to go to work.. but then not doin their job properly.. or not get it done at all..do they give excuses? or they just dont bother? how many percent of working people out there who actually committed to their job n doin it whole-heartedly.. i guess we all have our own purposes or plans everytime we step out of the house.. u knw.. like to really working or just to get rid of the people in the house..

*mmm..let hope now.. wen tmrw come.. i'll really will get my work done n be a better person.. i think i should suggest to my parents to send me to the military school o some sort of course .. so tht i'll be disciplined...

(LETS HOPE THEY DONT DO BLOGGING N DONT READ THIS.. IM SO NOT GOIN TO THE MILITARY SCHOOL!!!)..

##im out##

i'm jogging..

im suppose to jog now..and im jogging.. hihihi..(in my dream).. pegi jogging 2 ari pastu lima ari tak jogging langsung..and im suppose to diet tapi dah 2 malam lepak kat mc donald..great recipe to kip fit (fat!!)..and im so new in this blogging thing..(introduced by my lil' cousin, i guess she's not so lil' anymore since she starts blogging..) and im so sure she is addicted to this thing now..(ca study ca..buat thesis ca..!!!) dont blog around..hohoho..

*and im so confused r8 now until i dont even know if im actually writing bout her or bout me.. whatever it is.. thnx my not so lil' cousin.. for introducing this thing to me..which im very sure im gonna get addicted to it just like the way im addicted to facebook..

*actually im so bloody bored over here..thts why im addicted to all these thing in the computer and tht is why i cant stop writing here too.. the laptop is like my soulmate, my best friend, my life partner, my significant half or whatever u call the thing tht u cant leave in life..

***so basically...im screwed.. r8?

##im out##